When I Wore a Neck-Tie

Som Nath Sadhu

How pretty the name sounds, `neck-tie'! One turn to the left, another to the right, one more behind, and then this way, and then have a look in the mirror, the geography of your face is completely transformed. The throat that had been made unseemly with a projecting Adam's apple, now looks like a bouquet of flowers with the tie round it. The truth is that so long as you have a tie round your neck, you seem somewhat distinguished. Your own self and the things around you look fascinating and pretty. It is only natural for a man who wears a tie to have a suit also to match, the pants have to be creased, boots polished, collars clean and a well-washed handkerchief in the pocket. This done, a man's very deportment takes on a different look. You may not have a farthing in your pocket, but the external getup hides your penury. People take you for an affluent and wealthy man, but the wearer of the tie alone knows how agonising it is when you do not have the petty amount to buy even a beetle leaf.

I too, wore a neck tie one day ... only for a day... why, only for once. But the adventure is such as bears no recounting. However, since you are no strangers, it will be no shame to open my breast to you. Well, listen then. One day, sitting in my office, it occurred to me why I do not wear a neck-tie, when some of my friends drawing lesser pay than I do wear it. Am I in any way inferior to them? This idea possessed me and then, one day I bought a gaudy tie. I had got my suit dry-washed and I made up my mind that I would go to my office only with the tie on henceforth. How could one resist a temptation like this. In the next morning, I wore the tie on a shirt got washed and pressed by the washer man. While I, self-conscious and shy, was treading my way to the office every acquaintance I met, first cast his eyes on the tie and then brought a forced smile on his face and said, "Well, so fine... so fine... You have done so well".

I tried to probe in my mind, was it after all a good thing I did. But then the idea of even those friends of mine drawing lesser pay, yet wearing gaudy ties, assured me.

And then I walked on like a man of consequence, with my hair brushed up, my pants meticulously creased, and my boots shining bright, till I reached Badyaar crossing. There, my eyes fell on the edge of the drain. It was a two-rupee note lying there and I felt tempted. What a cupidity! The moment I caught a glimpse of it, I changed my colour. Until then, I had walked calmly and unperturbed, but there, a natural break of my legs. I looked around and found everybody engrossed in his round of work. Then I bethought to myself whether it would be proper to pick it up. But then, as nobody was noticing, there was no shame to pick it up. I moved two or three steps forward, but retraced reaching the place where the note lay. I took thought again, "Will it be proper to pick it up .... with this tie on...? Will it be proper?”

Looking at the note, I felt it looking at me and asking, "It was only for you that I was waiting here. Then why don't you pick me up "?

I deliberately let fall a piece of paper from my pocket near the note ...How my breast pounded! From my toes up I got as cold as ice. My face blushed, my legs were all atremble and I was profusely sweating on my forehead. In this trepidation, I touched the note with my hand. Hardly had I touched it when there resounded peals of laughter on all sides.

As I looked back, I found all the shopkeepers and a swarm of children bursting with laughter ...Imagine my plight then. What a calamity might have befallen me. I felt my eye-sight dimmed and it was as if I came to see the stars in broad day-light. My limbs got stiff wood, my mouth got distorted, and my face was as if besmeared with a bagful of turmeric. I felt as if molten lead had been poured in my ears.

A minute or so later, a fop of a man showed himself and said to me with a laugh. "Forgive me for the trouble taken, this note has been let fall there for fun by the children". So saying he snatched away the two-rupee note from my fingers. I stood dumb and only looked sheepishly at them. He burst out laughing again and said to me, "Who could believe that a suited-booted gentleman like you would look at the edge of the drain"?

"Sorry! Oh my! was it there only for the fun of it"? I came to myself and haltingly continued, "Alright.. it does not matter well..."

Then as I began to leave that place, there was again an uproar. I did not so much mind the grown up people as those brats of children. They whistled and clapped their hands. Two youngsters shouted full mouthed: "Gentleman, hai, Gentleman, hai hai! Necktie sootas, zet, zet! (Shame shame to the gentleman, shame to the neck-tie and the suit!)

I pinched my body and wrung my hands, bewailing my lot: "Oh poor me! Why were you waylaid by the two-rupee note? You were walking in pace, what curse took you? Why at all you got transfixed there?" In short, I cursed myself and the people with all the execrations I managed to gather. They put me to ridicule and made me so unnerved that I felt that every wayfarer was watching me, and me alone.

I had then to turn to the left as I had to reach Gawkadal, but I reached Lal Chowk where I heaved a sigh of relief. I looked around and felt somewhat at ease. There I took two tumblerfuls of cold water, but this too did not quell the fire within me

Somehow I reached my office.

"It is only expected that you will not design to talk to us", said a friend of mine.

"My God, you look every inch a hero with this tie on!" opined another friend.

I remained silent and looked with a hang-dog look, now to this one then to the other.

Now please do talk or do you feel we are not happy at this? Confound the man who takes it ill".

"Why to tire ourselves unnecessarily", another quipped. "Don't you see the new tie, the new suit? The property it calls for can be met only in the canteen. Let us go there before the boss comes".

They were not the men to be disagreed, while inwardly it was gnawing me. They tugged me away to the canteen. They took all that they liked, playfully and joyfully, but how could I bring myself to eat! I felt as if choked down the gullet. With every sip of tea, there arose before me the scene at Badyaar. I swallowed the cup with much difficulty. There I met other a quittances also, all fulsome with praise for the tie of mine. Some said, "It is from Germany", others called it Swiss. I simply stared at them and gave a nod to the 'made' they gave it

All the day long, I sat uneasy at the office like a fish out of water, entering one room, and then another.

In the evening, everybody left for their homes. On my way, it occurred to me that I had to take the Badyaar rout to my home. It happens that I might come by someone there and how humiliating it would be for me then! "How about roaming at Amira Kadal till it gets dark? Yes that course would be better". I said to myself. "But where to go"? While I was thinking this, I caught sight of an English movie advertisement "Very good, what a fine thing! It would be quite dark till the movie comes to an end”. The bell rang and it was time for the issuing the ticket Leisurely I put my hand in my pocket inside. "Oh, I am undone!" I almost shrieked while having my hand still in my pocket The shriek disappeared in the air. I looked around, "Thank God, nobody heard my shriek as everybody was busy in buying tickets, By and by, I began to beat a retreat. On the road below, I moved out my hand from my pocket and found two four anna coin in my palm. I closed my palm and began to take stock how come this that there were two four anna coins when I had put a one rupee note there... "O yes, how short my memory is! Did not I take two glasses of lemon juice in the market it too had to be paid for. Oh, was I ever wont to taking lemon juice as I left for office. May be I had killed those demons in my previous birth, who but killed me in the morning ... What now? It was the third bell as I lay thinking so. The black curtains were drawn on the door and the film started.

"What if I buy a third-class ticket? Who will notice this in such a rush? It was the counsel I took with myself. "Alright, but what will people say ... with this tie on? Oh no, it will only be to humiliate oneself... Then? It will be better undo the knot and put the tie into my pocket. That done, it would not matter whether I go to the first class or the third". Considering this, I moved to the backside of the cinema hall, undid the knot and put the tie quickly into my pocket. I bought the ticket and with a stoop, entered the third class. Unfortunately, the hall was chokeful. How could one move ahead. Overwhelmed with shame, I took my seat at the first step of stairs that led down to the hall. I had been to the third class two or three times before when I was young, but it was for the first lime that I had to sit on the first step.

Soon, as my eyes fell on the screen, I got a start My God, What is it that I see? Are the oblong things some muskmelons or human heads? I wiped my eyes to make sure. This changed the whole scene as I began to see two headed figures. Why? may be the actors there are like that. Only providence knows!

Then I gave a gentle elbow jerk to one sitting by me and asked him in muffled respectful tone, "Do you make out anything"?

"Nothing at all"! replied the man disgruntled, "I feel we have been cheated. Oh! the film the day before! The dances, rich dance was worth a lakh!"

"You are right", I returned with a sigh. I asked him one thing. and the reply was for something else. “Whatever that may be, there the film goes on, and it is a different matter that I see something different. May be there is a motor car at a speed, it seems to me a longish van is running there. Trees upside down! I am accustomed to two-wheeled bikes, but what my eyes make out is one-wheeled ones. "I wept and laughed at the same tune, pitying the poor me for the plight. Good or ill, two and half an hour passed and the show came to an end. I covered the steps in along jump and stopped at the road.

As I felt inside my pocket, the tie ... the tie was not there. I was at my wits end. As I was still searching my pockets, a group of my friends gathered there and passed their remarks about the film. One of them said that, that was a good film, the other said that, that was a commonplace one, and I simply said, "Yes, Yes" as a matter of form, while inside me I was embittered. But it was not a thing to be said to anybody and what would they say if they heard.

While those ‘friends of mine' talked things about the film, I heard somebody from behind. Turning my head, I saw a man wearing a blanket saying to some other man, "I which I could have come by something different! What use is this coloured tie for me"? Really it must have been some poor good-for-nothing man to see the film with a tie. Well, this will do for a collar to the puppy, we have at home. We have been saved the expenses for buying it".

So saying, both of them mounted a bicycle and ran away tuning a song towards Drugjan. My eyes followed them till they turned the corner.