What Matters is the Head

Amin Kamil

He said to me somewhat chagrined, "These matters are more than you can comprehend; forensic matters as they are. yeh bada naazuk masla hai. This is not so simple as to ask your granny to set a baath plate for you". He lifted a cigarette packet and remained silent.

He lighted a cigarette and puffed out a thick whorl of smoke upwards to the ceiling, which gradually thinned out and spread throughout the room, leaving a foul smell in its wake after dissolving indistinguishably in the air.

I sat tongue-tied and was reflecting over why men puff out smoke to foul the surrounding; what comfort they derive from this, stifle others making their life impossible. While I was lost in such reflections, he said again, "No, it is not a question of body, it is a matter of the head. I am not worried about its flesh and the skin; it might as well be devoured by a dog, for aught I care. The problem with me is which side did its head point to". Then saying with some stress, yeh meeraa masla hai." (It is my problem) I also thought this was true. What is a man worth after all without the head and the brain, being the place where all the conceit was stuffed? Gathering myself, I broke the silence: "But did you know which side did the head of the corpse point to"?

"hum ko sub maloom hai" (We know everything), he said with his teeth clenched tight “They think that by resorting to underhand means they will bring the matter to their side. magar hum ne kachi gooliyan nahin khaayin hain, I being an old shark for that matter; I am not a raw hand who by greasing other's palms became a thaanedaar. I, on the contrary, have drawn my sustenance for the last thirty years from my police service. No such tricks to me".

I could easily believe this. One could not save oneself from even one such worm, but then sandwiched between two such creatures, one could not but take thought of ones obsequies and last rites. The worm is after all a worm; if it sticks, it sticks fast. You might try your utmost to detach it, but come off it will not. This in fact was the plight in which the corpse was caught in between the two worms.

I had just got wind to the matter curiously. but was not aware of its depths, that is why I was trying to get to the bottom of the thing, nothing else. Neither was I a Punch to deal out justice after hearing the case, nor could I wash myself clean to the matter even after being aware that caught as I was between two veterans. It was I who could get the slip. It required a far mightier Jinni to overpower the less mighty one. To unravel the matter, I asked again, "It might be that you came to know of the matter rather late, or else how could that Thaanedaar of Khaanpur swindle you'?

I perceived that he got flattered, because his neck got a tilt, a smile played on his lips, a devilish gleam glistened in his eyes. This lasted only for a moment and his brows screwed narrow and showered fire. ”This mistake occurred all due to that Amma constable. Do you know him"?

"Yes sir, very well". I blurted out, without in fact knowing him.

“The fool that he is, he did not stop that man", he explained

"He did not send the information over to me in the soon, otherwise I would have known everything doodh kaa doodh paani ka paani. nevertheless, I set my own records straight."

"Well sir, who was he after all?” I asked him with a view to make the things clear.

"How do I know? Confound Amma constable's head". He got a bit vexed, “They sneak into the police when they do not even get a thing after begging; they have no brains at all, yeh maamle ki nazaakat nahin samajte. Strangely enough, he tells me after the man had left, that it was a man on horseback who informed that the corpse lay near the Chinar tree at Poshi Marg. What can you say of such man? You understand? How on earth did you leave that man without knowing from him who he was and wherefrom he hailed? What if he had murdered somebody, why? It is possible. A thaanedaar has to consider minute details. Do you not think so"?

"It admits of no doubt, so far it goes, all the more, when so shrewd and astute a thaanedaar has taken the case in his hand. Well now is there any snag, any obstruction"?

"Obstruction?" he widened his eyes owl like, putting his police cap down with his left hand straightening his neck. "No snag no obstruction, thonth shontk kuch nahin hai, we have gone through such sporting sprees. Our records are foolproof. I will see to it that this Khaanpora thaanedaar proves his undoing. kaagaz boul uthenge", (the documents will speak of themselves). So saying, he burst into an uproarious laugh. I too, on my part felt like laughing, but I took council with myself, poor me, this man I laughs for what he knows best, why to get embroiled.

He picked up something like a gram of sugar from a plate on the table and put that into his mouth, asking me at the same time to take one, "You take it also". With a touch of hospitality. I also picked up one and put that into my mouth. It was so sweet. No doubt about that!

"Well sir, this thaanedaar at Khaanpora will not sit merely with his hands folded, he might also have thought things out". I said, "soochne do ji, (Let him think). His brains will merely get addled. When has he been able to think that he will think today? hum har tarah se chokus hain". (We are on our guard).

"What sort of mischief might have done? "I asked him like a simpleton.

"Well yes, I will tell you". He moved his head with an air laying bare the whole mischief. Hardly had I heard of the corpse lying near Poshi Marg chinaar tree, I along with my whole staff ran there. It took us sometime. Our thaana is not a ramshackle of a scavenger's but like that of Khaanpora, it has a vast jurisdiction. The moment we reached there, lo and behold! He was already there along with a few of his rickety constables. The corpse stood there near the chinar, magar hum sub badmaashi samjh gaye (We at once got the hang of the mischief). But whom do they think they would hoodwink? As for that, I am too clever for them.

He took another grain of sugar and gave it a mighty crunch. I. wanted to understand how come that handling of one single cops by two thaanedaars. To my mind the corpse belonged to one in whose territory the corpse lay; it would ipso facto be his headache. That is why I asked with some measurable perplexity.

"All right sir, Under whose jurisdiction did the corpse fall?" “The corpse was under the jurisdiction of neither. It was there on the demarcation line of the two thaanas. We were duty bound to go there and so were they, ham koyi ghalat baat nahin kahen ge". He lifted his neck and looked owl-like outside the window where a couple of police men were beating somebody. I could also look there clearly.

"Well sir, how does it explain anything"? I asked ingeniously. "Once I think, would be enough to conduct the enquiry".

"What do you mean by one"? He returned with a hint of sarcasm. "The right of enquiry belongs to one whose jurisdiction it refers to".

"Well, then sir, according to their version, it lay on the demarcation line". I said.

"That is true, but towards which side did its head lie? This is to be settled".

I got lost, it did not at all enter my head. He had talked of the head before also, but I had taken it casually then.

"Ok sir, what has the head anything at all to do with the matter"? I asked.

'taaluq hai zaroor hai", (It is a connection, Its) he said with emphasis. “I had already told you that these are beyond your ken; this is a forensic point. In case a corpse lies on the demarcation line between two thanas, it can be possessed by the one towards which the corpse head is directed".

Astounded, I asked, "Granted sir, then where did the corpse's head point to"? The issue had in fact come up before also, but I had not noticed the nicety of it then.

“yahi badmaashi hai” (There lies the devilry) he said shaking both his head and body, "This corpse-scavenger of Khaanpora had already reached Poshi Marg. This spawn of the devil. I have understood all the devilry. He had got the head of the corpse turned towards his direction so that he might bring the corpse under his possession. I am an old card sharper at that; I would have been the last man to let him do that.”

The matter was now getting clear to me. One thing yet remained to be clarified. That is why I asked him, "What precisely did you do then"?

"I would not allow him to appropriate the corpse; I got those beggarly never-do-well constables of his thoroughly flogged by my sepoys. The dispute arose and I do not care who hoots for it kaagaz khud bolen ge... The matter drags on as it is.

It occurred to me, if the corpse were possessed by an evil spirit Happens so, not improper. It might rise and straight leave for its home. But soon I came to myself, telling him, "But, this corpse... It will rot How long after all ...."

He did not let me complete what I had to say.

"sadne do ji. What matters really is towards which side is the head lying. So long as the dispute is not resolved, the matter will linger on as it is".

I fell silent.